Days 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26
3 Gifts of Family:
1) I am thankful to have such a large family on both sides of my family.
2) I am grateful to have had time (and still have time) to spend with my grandparents.
3) I am thankful for the friendship that keeps my family together, not just blood.
A Gift Grateful:
1) I am grateful for the gift of love that God gave when He sent His Son to die for us.
3 Gifts Only in Christ:
1) I am thankful for the grace that allows us to come to Christ as we are.
2) I am thankful for the pain and suffering He went through to cleanse me of my sins.
3) I am thankful for the free gift of His forgiveness.
3 Gifts Humble:
1) I am thankful for the examples of humbleness that I have seen from those around me. It has taught me to be a better person.
2) I am thankful that Christ showed us the perfect example of how to be humble and live life to the fullest.
3) I am thankful to be learning the gift of humbleness as life goes on.
3 Gifts Ugly-Beautiful:
1) I am so glad that makeup can take me from not so nice in the morning to much better when I'm done.
2) I am thankful for Christmas trees, although I think they look ugly before decorating, after they look great!
3) I am thankful for the ugly bare trees in winter that look beautiful when covered with snow.
3 Gifts Preparing:
1) I am thankful that I get to prepare for Christmas. It is my favorite time of year.
2) I am thankful for whatever God is preparing me for with these experiences.
3) I am thankful for how He prepared me for the things I am facing now in my life.
Monday, November 26
Tuesday, November 20
I've been and still am sick..
Been a bit sick, but here it goes anyway. If it sounds weird, we can blame it on my dehydration!
Days 17, 18, 19, 20
3 Gifts of Laughter:
1) My brother gave me this "button" for Christmas one year. If you hit it, it goes on this whole rampage about pushing the "button". It's quite funny and gets me and my guests every time.
2) The laughter of children brings me such joy. The best is the little babies that I work with. I get to do "round and round the garden" with them and hear them giggle to no end. Sometimes I don't even have to tickle them before they giggle because they know what is about to happen.
3) The joy that laughter brings is unsurpassed. God truly made laughter to help heal the soul. In many difficult emotional situations, I have received the gift of laughter that changed my outlook and emotional state.
A Gift Made, Shared, Passed On:
1) I am thankful for the graduation quilt that was made for me that I am using right now. I have used that quilt all through college and since moving to Texas.
2) I am so thankful that Liz decided to share her family and home with me. I don't know how I would have made it through college or moving to Texas without her and her family. They are so very dear to me.
3) I am thankful for the legacy and lineage left to me by those who have passed on. I would not be who I am or where I am today without them.
3 Gifts of Autumn:
1) The cooler weather, although Texas cannot seem to make up its mind. It does make me miss autumn back home.
2) The harvest of yummy fruits and vegetables, along with the seasonal ones.
3) The changing of the leaves that reminds me how God planned for his creation to be beautiful in every season.
3 Gifts of Tradition:
1) The tradition of our Thanksgiving "services" that my grandparents held. It was and is such a special time to reflect on God while reading his word and singing praises to him.
2) The advent wreath, which again I learned from the tradition of my grandparents. I even remember making them at Grandpa's church one year. It was always my favorite part of Christmas time!
3) Giving to others... My parents (for many years) have made us go under the tree and find a present for someone else in the room. We were required to find a gift for someone else and hand it to them. After everyone had received one, we would watch and wait as each person opened there gifts, instead of just tearing into all the ones intended for us.
Days 17, 18, 19, 20
3 Gifts of Laughter:
1) My brother gave me this "button" for Christmas one year. If you hit it, it goes on this whole rampage about pushing the "button". It's quite funny and gets me and my guests every time.
2) The laughter of children brings me such joy. The best is the little babies that I work with. I get to do "round and round the garden" with them and hear them giggle to no end. Sometimes I don't even have to tickle them before they giggle because they know what is about to happen.
3) The joy that laughter brings is unsurpassed. God truly made laughter to help heal the soul. In many difficult emotional situations, I have received the gift of laughter that changed my outlook and emotional state.
A Gift Made, Shared, Passed On:
1) I am thankful for the graduation quilt that was made for me that I am using right now. I have used that quilt all through college and since moving to Texas.
2) I am so thankful that Liz decided to share her family and home with me. I don't know how I would have made it through college or moving to Texas without her and her family. They are so very dear to me.
3) I am thankful for the legacy and lineage left to me by those who have passed on. I would not be who I am or where I am today without them.
3 Gifts of Autumn:
1) The cooler weather, although Texas cannot seem to make up its mind. It does make me miss autumn back home.
2) The harvest of yummy fruits and vegetables, along with the seasonal ones.
3) The changing of the leaves that reminds me how God planned for his creation to be beautiful in every season.
3 Gifts of Tradition:
1) The tradition of our Thanksgiving "services" that my grandparents held. It was and is such a special time to reflect on God while reading his word and singing praises to him.
2) The advent wreath, which again I learned from the tradition of my grandparents. I even remember making them at Grandpa's church one year. It was always my favorite part of Christmas time!
3) Giving to others... My parents (for many years) have made us go under the tree and find a present for someone else in the room. We were required to find a gift for someone else and hand it to them. After everyone had received one, we would watch and wait as each person opened there gifts, instead of just tearing into all the ones intended for us.
Friday, November 16
Opps... I'm lazy
Days 12, 13, 14, 15, 16
3 Gifts at Noon:
1) I am thankful for the children I work with at noon. There are different kids on certain days, but I love each and everyone of them. They each changed my life in some way or another during this journey.
2) Noon usually symbolizes lunch time, so I am thankful for my lunch breaks where I get to just breath and relax. I love the kids, but we all need a little break to regroup ourselves.
3) Noon makes me appreciate the invention of clocks. I am so glad clocks were invented instead of the sundials that used to tell time.
3 Gifts Behind a Door:
1) On my nativity calendar, behind every door on the calendar is a scripture verse or a name of God. It is a wonderful part of my celebration of the birth of Christ.
2) When I open my door to my apartment, it makes me thankful to have the apartment that I do. Even though there are so many problems with it, I am grateful to have this large size apartment with my own washer and dryer.
3) I am so glad that I have so many doors (to closet space) in my apartment where I can store all my teacher stuff and Christmas decorations.
3 Gifts Silent:
1) I am thankful for that still silence that comes with a fresh snowfall. There is nothing more special than the still silence. I sometimes imagine that is what is was like the night that Christ was born.
2) I am thankful for the silence of naptime. It gives you time to prep things for the afternoon and to see the kids so peaceful and innocent. There is just something beautiful about a child quietly sleeping.
3) I am thankful for the silence of text messages. Text messages have saved me from awkward small talk or awkward silences on phone calls. Before texting, there would be awkward phone calls to gather information, either that or I would just not obtain the info.
3 Gifts Golden:
1) I am thankful for white gold. I am not a yellow gold person, but I think gold jewelry is nice. White gold looks pretty much like silver, which is all I wear.
2) I am thankful for the Golden Rule, even though most kids don't even know about it these days. It was something that was used to help teach me the moral values that I have.
3) I am thankful for the Golden Bell Diner and all my other diner memories. A lot of my late nights and "big event" nights involved going to diners or just hanging out with others there even if I didn't eat anything.
3 Gifts Hard Eucharisteo:
1) Losing my job as a public school teacher (2 times)... it taught me to appreciate the jobs I have and how to live with less money.
2) Moving to a state without family nearby.... it taught me to rely on other people and ask for help when I needed it. It was a very hard lesson to learn.
3) Walking through my depression.... it helped me to reach others that have gone or are going through the same things that I did. God brought people in my life that I could reach with my story.
3 Gifts at Noon:
1) I am thankful for the children I work with at noon. There are different kids on certain days, but I love each and everyone of them. They each changed my life in some way or another during this journey.
2) Noon usually symbolizes lunch time, so I am thankful for my lunch breaks where I get to just breath and relax. I love the kids, but we all need a little break to regroup ourselves.
3) Noon makes me appreciate the invention of clocks. I am so glad clocks were invented instead of the sundials that used to tell time.
3 Gifts Behind a Door:
1) On my nativity calendar, behind every door on the calendar is a scripture verse or a name of God. It is a wonderful part of my celebration of the birth of Christ.
2) When I open my door to my apartment, it makes me thankful to have the apartment that I do. Even though there are so many problems with it, I am grateful to have this large size apartment with my own washer and dryer.
3) I am so glad that I have so many doors (to closet space) in my apartment where I can store all my teacher stuff and Christmas decorations.
3 Gifts Silent:
1) I am thankful for that still silence that comes with a fresh snowfall. There is nothing more special than the still silence. I sometimes imagine that is what is was like the night that Christ was born.
2) I am thankful for the silence of naptime. It gives you time to prep things for the afternoon and to see the kids so peaceful and innocent. There is just something beautiful about a child quietly sleeping.
3) I am thankful for the silence of text messages. Text messages have saved me from awkward small talk or awkward silences on phone calls. Before texting, there would be awkward phone calls to gather information, either that or I would just not obtain the info.
3 Gifts Golden:
1) I am thankful for white gold. I am not a yellow gold person, but I think gold jewelry is nice. White gold looks pretty much like silver, which is all I wear.
2) I am thankful for the Golden Rule, even though most kids don't even know about it these days. It was something that was used to help teach me the moral values that I have.
3) I am thankful for the Golden Bell Diner and all my other diner memories. A lot of my late nights and "big event" nights involved going to diners or just hanging out with others there even if I didn't eat anything.
3 Gifts Hard Eucharisteo:
1) Losing my job as a public school teacher (2 times)... it taught me to appreciate the jobs I have and how to live with less money.
2) Moving to a state without family nearby.... it taught me to rely on other people and ask for help when I needed it. It was a very hard lesson to learn.
3) Walking through my depression.... it helped me to reach others that have gone or are going through the same things that I did. God brought people in my life that I could reach with my story.
Sunday, November 11
I'm behind by a few...
Days 8, 9, 10, and 11:
A Gift Sweet, Salty, and Sipped:
1) Peanut Butter Pie... I am glad for my grandfather and grandmother's ability to bake, cook, etc. because I was introduced to so many new foods and desserts as a young child that I looked forward to during visits as I got older. Sweets were kind of banned in my house, so it was always a treat when she would bring over (or we would go over) her homemade sweet tastiness. Peanut butter pie is the one I look forward to the most.
2) McDonald's french fries... These remind me of the trips to McDonald's that my grandparents would always take us on as kids because it was a treat and we could play at the same time. To this day, I still love a good batch of McDonald's fries.
3) Coffee.... I am so grateful for the energy boost that coffee gives me, along with the variety of available flavors. It has gotten me through a lot of different things, projects, and all nighters.
3 Gifts Harvested:
1) The Lord's harvest is the best one that I can think of. It's a joy to watch how God gets a soul and all the hard work of many believers finally comes to the acceptance of salvation. I am also looking forward to the final Harvest when God takes us home.
2) Harvest reminds me of the meaning behind Thanksgiving. The Native Americans shared their harvest with the Pilgrims. Without this crucial event, I would not have the memories that are associated with the holiday of Thanksgiving.
3) I love a fresh Jersey sweet corn-on-the-cob. When that sweet corn is harvested, I am so thankful that I live in Jersey. I used to live for the summer months when Dad would grill or cook the corn on the cob, and only Jersey sweet corn.
3 Gifts Found in Bible Reading:
1) The Psalms are truly my favorite part of Bible reading. It is so easy to relate to and turn into songs. It's a book that includes something for every situation you go through in life. There is nothing I have gone through that the Psalms has not applied to. I am so glad that David wrote them and God gave us such a gift!
2) The ability to hear how much God loves me in His word is amazing to me. Every time you read the Bible, you can see how much He loves His children (or people).
3) The gift salvation which includes grace! The gift of salvation is one of the best parts of reading the Bible. Its one of the greatest gifts that God ever gave us that we can read about. Salvation required God to give so much and we get it as a gift!
3 Gifts of Remembrance:
1) My grandpa's picture from the memorial service. Not only does it have his signature verse, it also reminds me of his favorite song in the process. Every time I heard either of those, I am able to think of him. Also, the verse that he always had us read at Thanksgiving remind me of him too.
2) My bell collection reminds me that my dad thought of me and cared when he was away on travel. He traveled a lot when I was a kid. Those beautiful bells reminded me that he thought of me. Since then, I have gotten bell from new places I have traveled.
3) Communion... remembering the sacrifice that Christ gave for us all. He also said to do this in remembrance of me, so it definitely came into mind when I saw this heading. It is a constant reminder and helps me to remember to keep myself in check.
A Gift Sweet, Salty, and Sipped:
1) Peanut Butter Pie... I am glad for my grandfather and grandmother's ability to bake, cook, etc. because I was introduced to so many new foods and desserts as a young child that I looked forward to during visits as I got older. Sweets were kind of banned in my house, so it was always a treat when she would bring over (or we would go over) her homemade sweet tastiness. Peanut butter pie is the one I look forward to the most.
2) McDonald's french fries... These remind me of the trips to McDonald's that my grandparents would always take us on as kids because it was a treat and we could play at the same time. To this day, I still love a good batch of McDonald's fries.
3) Coffee.... I am so grateful for the energy boost that coffee gives me, along with the variety of available flavors. It has gotten me through a lot of different things, projects, and all nighters.
3 Gifts Harvested:
1) The Lord's harvest is the best one that I can think of. It's a joy to watch how God gets a soul and all the hard work of many believers finally comes to the acceptance of salvation. I am also looking forward to the final Harvest when God takes us home.
2) Harvest reminds me of the meaning behind Thanksgiving. The Native Americans shared their harvest with the Pilgrims. Without this crucial event, I would not have the memories that are associated with the holiday of Thanksgiving.
3) I love a fresh Jersey sweet corn-on-the-cob. When that sweet corn is harvested, I am so thankful that I live in Jersey. I used to live for the summer months when Dad would grill or cook the corn on the cob, and only Jersey sweet corn.
3 Gifts Found in Bible Reading:
1) The Psalms are truly my favorite part of Bible reading. It is so easy to relate to and turn into songs. It's a book that includes something for every situation you go through in life. There is nothing I have gone through that the Psalms has not applied to. I am so glad that David wrote them and God gave us such a gift!
2) The ability to hear how much God loves me in His word is amazing to me. Every time you read the Bible, you can see how much He loves His children (or people).
3) The gift salvation which includes grace! The gift of salvation is one of the best parts of reading the Bible. Its one of the greatest gifts that God ever gave us that we can read about. Salvation required God to give so much and we get it as a gift!
3 Gifts of Remembrance:
1) My grandpa's picture from the memorial service. Not only does it have his signature verse, it also reminds me of his favorite song in the process. Every time I heard either of those, I am able to think of him. Also, the verse that he always had us read at Thanksgiving remind me of him too.
2) My bell collection reminds me that my dad thought of me and cared when he was away on travel. He traveled a lot when I was a kid. Those beautiful bells reminded me that he thought of me. Since then, I have gotten bell from new places I have traveled.
3) Communion... remembering the sacrifice that Christ gave for us all. He also said to do this in remembrance of me, so it definitely came into mind when I saw this heading. It is a constant reminder and helps me to remember to keep myself in check.
Wednesday, November 7
Challenge Day 6 and 7
3 Gifts of Government:
1) I am so grateful that I have the ability to express my voice through the freedom of my speech. I can voice whom I want to govern, what I want done, and changes I agree/disagree with.
2) I am glad that my founding fathers chose to set up a checks-and-balances system when forming the government. Without it, our government and country probably would not have made it that far.
3) I am thankful for a country that allows us to have the choice to fight in the military or not. Some countries require able-bodied people to join their military at a certain age. I know that a draft can be called up by the government, but that hasn't been necessary in a while.
3 Gifts From Your Window:
1) I am thankful for my car. My car runs and gets me from place to place. I am glad that I am able to have one and haven't had to get a new one yet.
2) I am thankful to live a safe-ish neighborhood where I do not have to worry about break-ins of my home or car.
3) I am thankful for lights, especially knowing there are still people without power. Also because the complex replaced my outside light and I can see to put my key in the lock again!
1) I am so grateful that I have the ability to express my voice through the freedom of my speech. I can voice whom I want to govern, what I want done, and changes I agree/disagree with.
2) I am glad that my founding fathers chose to set up a checks-and-balances system when forming the government. Without it, our government and country probably would not have made it that far.
3) I am thankful for a country that allows us to have the choice to fight in the military or not. Some countries require able-bodied people to join their military at a certain age. I know that a draft can be called up by the government, but that hasn't been necessary in a while.
3 Gifts From Your Window:
1) I am thankful for my car. My car runs and gets me from place to place. I am glad that I am able to have one and haven't had to get a new one yet.
2) I am thankful to live a safe-ish neighborhood where I do not have to worry about break-ins of my home or car.
3) I am thankful for lights, especially knowing there are still people without power. Also because the complex replaced my outside light and I can see to put my key in the lock again!
Monday, November 5
Challenge Day 5
3 Gifts Acorn-Small:
1) I am thankful for my True Love Waits ring. It reminds me that saving myself for my future husband is a wonderful gift that I can give to him and hope he will also give to me. It is one of the values that I hold dear from my upbringing.
2) I am thankful for contacts. They give me the ability to see without having to wear my painful glasses. Usually my lenses are so heavy that it ends up hurting my nose and giving me a headache. They also gave me more confidence as a teenager.
3) I am thankful for Hershey's kisses. They are awesome and I love chocolate. Chocolate has always helped me to function better and get more work done. Without chocolate, I might have gone crazy already! Lol.
1) I am thankful for my True Love Waits ring. It reminds me that saving myself for my future husband is a wonderful gift that I can give to him and hope he will also give to me. It is one of the values that I hold dear from my upbringing.
2) I am thankful for contacts. They give me the ability to see without having to wear my painful glasses. Usually my lenses are so heavy that it ends up hurting my nose and giving me a headache. They also gave me more confidence as a teenager.
3) I am thankful for Hershey's kisses. They are awesome and I love chocolate. Chocolate has always helped me to function better and get more work done. Without chocolate, I might have gone crazy already! Lol.
Sunday, November 4
Challenge Day 4
It had it all listed together, so I am assuming I am supposed to do one of each. Not quite sure, but that is how I intend on interpreting it.
A Gift Gathered: I am thankful for the times when my family or friends can gather together. The fellowship that comes from gathering together, for whatever purpose is always helpful.
A Gift Given: I am thankful to be able to give of myself through teaching. I know that God calls us all to be used in different ways, but I am glad that He chose for me to teach and given unto the little ones. I enjoying teaching them, loving on them, and watching as they grow from the knowledge.
A Gift Good: I am thankful for the "good mornings" that I receive when I go to work every day. They remind me to keep a positive outlook and attitude for the day, no matter how I am feeling. I appreciate those "good" intentions, positive feelings, and most times genuineness of the expressions.
A Gift Gathered: I am thankful for the times when my family or friends can gather together. The fellowship that comes from gathering together, for whatever purpose is always helpful.
A Gift Given: I am thankful to be able to give of myself through teaching. I know that God calls us all to be used in different ways, but I am glad that He chose for me to teach and given unto the little ones. I enjoying teaching them, loving on them, and watching as they grow from the knowledge.
A Gift Good: I am thankful for the "good mornings" that I receive when I go to work every day. They remind me to keep a positive outlook and attitude for the day, no matter how I am feeling. I appreciate those "good" intentions, positive feelings, and most times genuineness of the expressions.
Saturday, November 3
Challenge Day 3
3 Gifts that Start with N:
1) This one is easy! Norman, my grandfather, would be the first one I am grateful for. The legacy that he and Grandma left for us is amazing. From his faith, to his musical talent, to his need for food/family fellowship, these are the legacies left behind. I continue to hold these qualities dear as well, especially as I have gotten older. Those things and childhood memories that go with them, shaped me into who I am today.
2) Novels... I have loved reading since I was little. I cannot imagine life without books (electronic or paper). Novels and stories got me through many summers when I had no one to play with or had nothing else to do. Those were the days when I could go through a book in only a few hours. The lands and plot lines I got lost in were quite helpful in keeping me sane.
3) Noise... As odd as this one sounds, I am glad that I have the ability to hear noise. I also am thankful that our movies have noise and sounds in them. Although silent movies are classic, with some amazing compositions, I do love a good modern-day movie. Being able to have noise audible also means I can hear and enjoy music/harmonies/etc.
1) This one is easy! Norman, my grandfather, would be the first one I am grateful for. The legacy that he and Grandma left for us is amazing. From his faith, to his musical talent, to his need for food/family fellowship, these are the legacies left behind. I continue to hold these qualities dear as well, especially as I have gotten older. Those things and childhood memories that go with them, shaped me into who I am today.
2) Novels... I have loved reading since I was little. I cannot imagine life without books (electronic or paper). Novels and stories got me through many summers when I had no one to play with or had nothing else to do. Those were the days when I could go through a book in only a few hours. The lands and plot lines I got lost in were quite helpful in keeping me sane.
3) Noise... As odd as this one sounds, I am glad that I have the ability to hear noise. I also am thankful that our movies have noise and sounds in them. Although silent movies are classic, with some amazing compositions, I do love a good modern-day movie. Being able to have noise audible also means I can hear and enjoy music/harmonies/etc.
Friday, November 2
Thanksgiving Challenge
So I decided to take the challenge Anne gave in her blog after she saw my days of thankfulness for November. I will be continuing to post my days of thankfulness as they pop in my head on Facebook, but I also will take the challenge and post it here.
To catch up on the days, I will do yesterday's first and then today's. If you would like to take the challenge as well, you can visit Anne's blog post to see the challenge. I also dare you to try it, as she also dared me.
November 1: 3 Gifts Eaten
1) I am thankful for having food to fill my stomach. Many people around the world do not. And now with Hurricane Sandy on the mind due to my family being affected, I am glad that food is so easy to heat and eat "hot-n-ready".
2) I am thankful for the blessing of having family who can cook and taught me well. They always made such wonderful foods, which now hold many memories for me. For example, peanut butter pie, chocolate krinkle cookies, "pink stuff", "green stuff", etc. :)
3) I am thankful God chose to not give me food allergies. I can eat (pretty much) whatever I want without any repercussions, except gaining weight. Haha.
November 2: 3 Gifts Worn
1) I am thankful for the red floral skirt I wore as a girl. The skirt represented the time I spent with my grandma and grandpa on the weekends. Grandma and I made that skirt together for me to wear. I learned my sewing and cross-stitching skills from her.
2) I am grateful to have weather appropriate clothing that is clean, fresh, and fits. No matter my financial situation, God has always provided a way for me to have what I need. It makes me think of my Compassion kiddos who are so thrilled about picking out 1 outfit with birthday money. To them it's like gold, so I appreciate the ability to have what I need when I need it.
3) This may sound odd, but I am thankful for the freedom to wear what I want in terms of jewelery, clothing, make-up, etc. I am glad that I am no longer under man-made rules, but God's conviction of what my outward appearance has become. To have that weight lifted off of my shoulders has been a freeing experience for which I am thankful.
What are you thankful for today?
To catch up on the days, I will do yesterday's first and then today's. If you would like to take the challenge as well, you can visit Anne's blog post to see the challenge. I also dare you to try it, as she also dared me.
November 1: 3 Gifts Eaten
1) I am thankful for having food to fill my stomach. Many people around the world do not. And now with Hurricane Sandy on the mind due to my family being affected, I am glad that food is so easy to heat and eat "hot-n-ready".
2) I am thankful for the blessing of having family who can cook and taught me well. They always made such wonderful foods, which now hold many memories for me. For example, peanut butter pie, chocolate krinkle cookies, "pink stuff", "green stuff", etc. :)
3) I am thankful God chose to not give me food allergies. I can eat (pretty much) whatever I want without any repercussions, except gaining weight. Haha.
November 2: 3 Gifts Worn
1) I am thankful for the red floral skirt I wore as a girl. The skirt represented the time I spent with my grandma and grandpa on the weekends. Grandma and I made that skirt together for me to wear. I learned my sewing and cross-stitching skills from her.
2) I am grateful to have weather appropriate clothing that is clean, fresh, and fits. No matter my financial situation, God has always provided a way for me to have what I need. It makes me think of my Compassion kiddos who are so thrilled about picking out 1 outfit with birthday money. To them it's like gold, so I appreciate the ability to have what I need when I need it.
3) This may sound odd, but I am thankful for the freedom to wear what I want in terms of jewelery, clothing, make-up, etc. I am glad that I am no longer under man-made rules, but God's conviction of what my outward appearance has become. To have that weight lifted off of my shoulders has been a freeing experience for which I am thankful.
What are you thankful for today?
Wednesday, September 19
Christian minimalism
What an eye-opening reminder today at work was for me. My day started off slow because I was so tired from spending the night before out for a friend's birthday instead of sleeping in my bed at 9pm! God gave me strength and energy this morning to get through work enough until my body truly woke up. Today, I was doing things that were either part of my job description or things that I had been told to do while "floating" (walking around an area to see if the teacher's need help). To me, it was just things that I am supposed to be doing. With some things, I went above and beyond because I felt it was needed at the time. With others, I wish someone had done that for me or someone had done it for me and I knew how helpful it was. While doing those things, I hadn't thought twice about them, but the responses I got for doing those things shocked me. There was such overwhelming gratitude and comments about how no one else ever does those things. It amazed me because I know there are others who are assigned to do the same type of things that I am. I
t made me realize that as Americans, and even Christians, we tend to become minimalists when it comes to our jobs or work ethic. As teachers, sometimes we feel that we go above and beyond too much, but are we truly completing our job description first? I realized often times we do what we are told begrudgingly or do the least possible to say that we finished. As Christians, is that truly what Jesus would want of us? Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we all did our jobs to the fullest of our job description (having a good work ethic) and sometimes even took that extra step or two. Or goodness, even if we tried to just do our jobs to the fullest joyfully how much things would change.
Yes, I know, some are thinking "but I wouldn't be appreciated". I must argue that this is not why we should do it! We do not do things for the purpose of gaining, but to serve others as Christ did. Imagine what our lives would be like if God only did the least possible? I don't think I would want Him to limit his blessings based on my gratitude or what He would gain from me! Just think of the blessing that you could be to someone else by just doing your job to the fullest and joyfully? People may not notice at first, but at some point they will. You may not ever know it or they may express it to you as people did with me today. The point is not the recognition but the action and knowing that you have done your job for the glory of God's kingdom. If you remember, Jesus told many that He helped or healed to not tell others of what He had done, but the people were so blessed and grateful they could not help but tell someone else!
Working at this preschool has given me a lot of insight. The best part of my job is being able to interact with so many different people on staff because I learn so much through different situations. This lesson was expressed to me today. The way I have been treated here by the staff, especially the office staff, also has reminded me that little actions can go far. Asking me how my day was, acknowledging me when seen, and smiles always make my day better. If we all reacted to each other how I have been treated here and in the aforementioned method, how much better would our workplaces and lives be? I sure am willing to find out!
t made me realize that as Americans, and even Christians, we tend to become minimalists when it comes to our jobs or work ethic. As teachers, sometimes we feel that we go above and beyond too much, but are we truly completing our job description first? I realized often times we do what we are told begrudgingly or do the least possible to say that we finished. As Christians, is that truly what Jesus would want of us? Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we all did our jobs to the fullest of our job description (having a good work ethic) and sometimes even took that extra step or two. Or goodness, even if we tried to just do our jobs to the fullest joyfully how much things would change.
Yes, I know, some are thinking "but I wouldn't be appreciated". I must argue that this is not why we should do it! We do not do things for the purpose of gaining, but to serve others as Christ did. Imagine what our lives would be like if God only did the least possible? I don't think I would want Him to limit his blessings based on my gratitude or what He would gain from me! Just think of the blessing that you could be to someone else by just doing your job to the fullest and joyfully? People may not notice at first, but at some point they will. You may not ever know it or they may express it to you as people did with me today. The point is not the recognition but the action and knowing that you have done your job for the glory of God's kingdom. If you remember, Jesus told many that He helped or healed to not tell others of what He had done, but the people were so blessed and grateful they could not help but tell someone else!
Working at this preschool has given me a lot of insight. The best part of my job is being able to interact with so many different people on staff because I learn so much through different situations. This lesson was expressed to me today. The way I have been treated here by the staff, especially the office staff, also has reminded me that little actions can go far. Asking me how my day was, acknowledging me when seen, and smiles always make my day better. If we all reacted to each other how I have been treated here and in the aforementioned method, how much better would our workplaces and lives be? I sure am willing to find out!
Monday, August 20
Work has begun...
Today was our first inservice. There is a large staff and lots of names/faces to remember. Hopefully, I will be able to remember most of them and how to get around the building. Lol. It's definitely a much different experience than public school. I am ready to get all my materials and such. I am ready to set up a plan. Still looking for a weekend job or more students to tutor. I am working on living financially on faith. I am pretty excited about what this job has in-store. I also look forward to seeing how God will provide. Working with people I know is good too.
Monday, August 13
You finished it?
I went up to the preschool today to met up with the music teacher, along with asking some of my questions to the director. I got my questions answered and got to sit in during a few music classes. I have a feeling I will like doing this, along with being able to get a workout at the same time. haha. I am planning on going back the rest of the week during the mornings to observe more of the classes so I can catch on to how things work and begin to learn all the hand motions and songs I don't know. The teacher also gave me some binders of songs, hand motions, and articles to read to prep me for some of the responsibilities I have. I will probably use some more of my EC resources from LU and the internet for some more fun and interesting activities to do.
The director also did not know that I had finished my Masters. So that means my salary quote was inaccurate. So perhaps things will not be as tight as I had thought. I do not know what the new one is yet, but it's another provision God is providing. For that, I am excited and grateful.
The director also did not know that I had finished my Masters. So that means my salary quote was inaccurate. So perhaps things will not be as tight as I had thought. I do not know what the new one is yet, but it's another provision God is providing. For that, I am excited and grateful.
Sunday, August 12
Checkmate... I don't think so!
Pastor preached a message this morning that spoke to me and made lots of sense. Even though I am not a good chess player, I do understand the game. He described times when Satan thought that he had God and the saints in "checkmate", but what he doesn't see is that God, the king, has the final move. No matter how much we feel our back is against the wall and there is no way out (checkmate), God always has a way out, a final move if you will. Great sermon! He gave Biblical examples from throughout the Bible and then applied it to our lives.
If you have been reading my previous posts, then you know that I have felt like this job I took has put me in a corner financially that I was unsure I can get out of. But I forgot that in my life it's never "I", it's "we". God and I. It's not whether or not I can get out of it or if I can make it work, it's if "we" can make it work. Nothing is impossible with God and He will never leave us. So when I have done all that I can do, that's where God can work. I need to do my part and let Him do his. The final move is His and He always has one. Satan does not know His plans (unless He allows the plans to be known) and sometimes I don't either. God does not have to explain Himself. He knows the outcome and I'm glad to know that He always wins. There is never a doubt or guess about that, it's fact. Just some thoughts to share.
If you have been reading my previous posts, then you know that I have felt like this job I took has put me in a corner financially that I was unsure I can get out of. But I forgot that in my life it's never "I", it's "we". God and I. It's not whether or not I can get out of it or if I can make it work, it's if "we" can make it work. Nothing is impossible with God and He will never leave us. So when I have done all that I can do, that's where God can work. I need to do my part and let Him do his. The final move is His and He always has one. Satan does not know His plans (unless He allows the plans to be known) and sometimes I don't either. God does not have to explain Himself. He knows the outcome and I'm glad to know that He always wins. There is never a doubt or guess about that, it's fact. Just some thoughts to share.
Saturday, August 11
The provisions begin
Well, God has already started removing expenses from my life for this new job. Even after talking with Mom yesterday, last night was still intense. As I was checking my account to see which bills had cleared, I noticed that one of my automatic payments was lower than normal. Although that means that I will be saving some money it is still a little sad because one of my kids was departed from the program. So even though I would not drop my sponsorships (or rather didn't want to in order to save money), one was removed for me. I'm not excited about it, but I am glad that the large number of how deep in I am has gone down slightly. There are more things I need to try to cut on, but I am slowly working on that. Also I am looking into getting a job on the weekends (Saturday and Sunday), but I am worried about missing church. I am hoping that God will allow me to find a job that I can do those two days, but not have to miss church. Maybe even just one of those days. Working only all day Saturday only would be ideal, but nothing is impossible for God! Who knows? It could turn into a full-time summer job and part-time during the holiday breaks where I may not be able to work as much at this new job.
Friday, August 10
Mom
I decided to call mom. Talking to mom usually makes things better. We discussed some options on my car so that I can finally get it turned over to me and have it all put in my name. They think it would be cheaper to pay my insurance in Texas, for which I grateful that they would still help pay. I don't think I would be able to handle yet another expense. Then we talked about me moving back up North. Really the only thing that is truly "holding me back" is my lease contract. Once that ends in April, there is a possibility that moving up North could prove for better job options. The current discussion leads to MD, but time will tell if that is a possibility. From the MD website I saw, changing over my certificate wouldn't be so hard since I've taught for 3 years already. That also would mean being able to be closer to family, which would be helpful in these economic times. I don't know what I think about this plan, but having more options doesn't sound so bad.
Talking things through with Mom makes me feel like this is the job I need to be at, even with all the sacrifices and craziness that will ensue. Even if other jobs come up, this may be the one that I still choose. I asked God for open or closed and this is the only one that has been wide open. I cannot argue with that sense. There must be purpose in the reasons behind having this particular one.
Talking things through with Mom makes me feel like this is the job I need to be at, even with all the sacrifices and craziness that will ensue. Even if other jobs come up, this may be the one that I still choose. I asked God for open or closed and this is the only one that has been wide open. I cannot argue with that sense. There must be purpose in the reasons behind having this particular one.
The job
Well, I should be excited. I have found a job working at a local Christian preschool. Part of the day I am the music assistant and the other part of the day I will be in different classes. It sounds like a great job and I will be working with some people that I already know. It's close to home and the hours aren't that bad. So what's the problem you say? The money that it makes without any benefits covered and I have student loans out the wazoo. I tallied up how much I would have to pay in bills/loans for an entire year (including estimated gas and without groceries) versus how much I would make (even with tutoring on the side). It didn't come out too good. Being able to rely on God for THAT MUCH extra money is just whoa.
There are things that I am looking into changing, but even those will be leaps of faith. For example, I feel like I am having structural problems in my apartment, which I have brought to the attention of the complex, but not made a big fuss about. However, if they are planning on moving someone in upstairs, I sure will! But, if I can manage to get out of this one and into a smaller one (even though I may lose W/D in that instance *BOOO*) it would save me some. The heartbreaker to cut out would be Compassion. That eats up a lot of my money, but I feel that it is going to such a great cause and they need it too. I love those kiddos and to have to take away my sponsorship would hurt. Once I get a finalized schedule and officially hired response, I will be off unemployment and calling my student loan companies. Sallie Mae is the only one that I am currently dealing with and the rest starts in December. It almost makes me wish I didn't go back to school, but I did learn a lot and it has kept me sane during this period of unemployment. I am hoping that there is a way that I can have my loan payments reduced or stop for a bit or something.
Grandma called me the other day. She suggested I move in with her and find some work. Thinking about it, it wouldn't be too awful to move back. However, finding teaching jobs there would be an easier from what I have heard and I have no knowledge of how things work up there. That freaks me out a little. The cool part would be seeing family and friends up there more often and learning how to cook other things from Grandma. Did I mention that I love her back porch too? Lol. Of course, I would pay her some amount for being able to live there (whether or not she wanted it) and groceries etc. Maybe when this lease is up? I don't know.
Being around family would be so helpful right now. This is so scary being down here and the prospect of things falling apart. I just don't know how this is going to work out. I guess that is where God comes in, huh? Taking what I cannot do and making it work.
There are things that I am looking into changing, but even those will be leaps of faith. For example, I feel like I am having structural problems in my apartment, which I have brought to the attention of the complex, but not made a big fuss about. However, if they are planning on moving someone in upstairs, I sure will! But, if I can manage to get out of this one and into a smaller one (even though I may lose W/D in that instance *BOOO*) it would save me some. The heartbreaker to cut out would be Compassion. That eats up a lot of my money, but I feel that it is going to such a great cause and they need it too. I love those kiddos and to have to take away my sponsorship would hurt. Once I get a finalized schedule and officially hired response, I will be off unemployment and calling my student loan companies. Sallie Mae is the only one that I am currently dealing with and the rest starts in December. It almost makes me wish I didn't go back to school, but I did learn a lot and it has kept me sane during this period of unemployment. I am hoping that there is a way that I can have my loan payments reduced or stop for a bit or something.
Grandma called me the other day. She suggested I move in with her and find some work. Thinking about it, it wouldn't be too awful to move back. However, finding teaching jobs there would be an easier from what I have heard and I have no knowledge of how things work up there. That freaks me out a little. The cool part would be seeing family and friends up there more often and learning how to cook other things from Grandma. Did I mention that I love her back porch too? Lol. Of course, I would pay her some amount for being able to live there (whether or not she wanted it) and groceries etc. Maybe when this lease is up? I don't know.
Being around family would be so helpful right now. This is so scary being down here and the prospect of things falling apart. I just don't know how this is going to work out. I guess that is where God comes in, huh? Taking what I cannot do and making it work.
Friday, July 13
2 Timothy 1:7, Hebrews 11:1
NKJV "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
NIV "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7
Today, this verse came to me and made me think. I am trying not to be fearful or timid (mainly fearful) during this time. I cannot begin to express the strain it has placed on my emotions and where it has taken me. The walls that I have to put up for my own benefit are ridiculous. Sometimes you just have to put the walls up so you can make it through the day. But then as I was looking up the different translations of the verse (and posted the two I liked best), I realized that it is not me who is not fearful, but the spirit within me. When the Spirit is referred to, it means the Holy Spirit... the Comforter God gave us when Jesus ascended into Heaven. That Spirit that lives within me as a follower and believer in Christ is not one of fear or timidness. When I rely on and live by that Spirit, I will not be fearful or timid because my Spirit cannot be. The flesh so easily can make us live in fear and shy away from anything and everything, but the Spirit within gives us the courage and strength. It gives me power, love, and self-discipline.
The self-discipline to wake up every day and try to live each day to the fullest. The self-discipline to look for a job each and every day no matter how bleak it seems. The self-discipline to fill out each application despite the repetitive information that I write on each one. The self-discipline to not wallow in my situation no matter how long it has been like this.
The love to continue loving myself even though the situation can make me feel pretty worthless and like yesterday's trash. The love to allows me to continually love the people with whom I used to work that let me go because I know that it wasn't their fault, no matter how much I might want to blame them sometimes. The love that keeps me from snapping when things aren't going so hot that day.
The power to head my high knowing that I am a child of the King, even if I don't always feel like it. The power to walk into interviews with confidence, knowing I am a good teacher and a worthy candidate. The power to be myself and express my views on education freely. The power to overcome the darkness that constantly tries to consume me through this whole process.
Hebrews 11:1
NIV "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."
NLT "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
When speaking about faith, this is the verse that I hear the most. What a difficult thing faith is! Even with the Spirit inside that gives me all that 2 Timothy speaks of, faith is hard to grasp sometimes. I know that not much faith is needed to make things happen and sometimes our faith must be strengthened and increased. This has definitely been a difficult time for my faith and it shows. I cannot see the job that God has or even the light at the end of this tunnel. It has seemed so dark and unfruitful for so long. I almost wonder if there is even an end! But through faith in God and that He knows what is best, I can have faith in that end and job that I cannot see. Through faith, I can have confidence knowing that security of a job that I hope and long for will happen. Having that faith is just so difficult sometimes! I struggle with it so much, even though I know that God provides. He has provided and kept me thus far. I will admit that some great things and benefits have happened through this time of not being able to find work. I am grateful and thankful for the opportunities that have been given to me through it.
I know He has a great plan for my life and He holds me in His hand, but that big picture is so hard to see. It is scary not knowing. If you know me, then you know I always like to have a plan. I look at the best and worst outcomes of all situations and try to plan accordingly for whatever may happen. I know that God's plan is not always my own and am ready for a change in plans whenever. However, I like to know or have a semblance of what is going on. I'm one of those people that needs to have a box, but can work inside or outside the box. I just need you to draw me the box first.
How do you get through the dark tunnel that seems to have no light? How do you push past the fleshly fear and lack of faith that creeps in sometimes? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are.
NIV "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7
Today, this verse came to me and made me think. I am trying not to be fearful or timid (mainly fearful) during this time. I cannot begin to express the strain it has placed on my emotions and where it has taken me. The walls that I have to put up for my own benefit are ridiculous. Sometimes you just have to put the walls up so you can make it through the day. But then as I was looking up the different translations of the verse (and posted the two I liked best), I realized that it is not me who is not fearful, but the spirit within me. When the Spirit is referred to, it means the Holy Spirit... the Comforter God gave us when Jesus ascended into Heaven. That Spirit that lives within me as a follower and believer in Christ is not one of fear or timidness. When I rely on and live by that Spirit, I will not be fearful or timid because my Spirit cannot be. The flesh so easily can make us live in fear and shy away from anything and everything, but the Spirit within gives us the courage and strength. It gives me power, love, and self-discipline.
The self-discipline to wake up every day and try to live each day to the fullest. The self-discipline to look for a job each and every day no matter how bleak it seems. The self-discipline to fill out each application despite the repetitive information that I write on each one. The self-discipline to not wallow in my situation no matter how long it has been like this.
The love to continue loving myself even though the situation can make me feel pretty worthless and like yesterday's trash. The love to allows me to continually love the people with whom I used to work that let me go because I know that it wasn't their fault, no matter how much I might want to blame them sometimes. The love that keeps me from snapping when things aren't going so hot that day.
The power to head my high knowing that I am a child of the King, even if I don't always feel like it. The power to walk into interviews with confidence, knowing I am a good teacher and a worthy candidate. The power to be myself and express my views on education freely. The power to overcome the darkness that constantly tries to consume me through this whole process.
Hebrews 11:1
NIV "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."
NLT "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
When speaking about faith, this is the verse that I hear the most. What a difficult thing faith is! Even with the Spirit inside that gives me all that 2 Timothy speaks of, faith is hard to grasp sometimes. I know that not much faith is needed to make things happen and sometimes our faith must be strengthened and increased. This has definitely been a difficult time for my faith and it shows. I cannot see the job that God has or even the light at the end of this tunnel. It has seemed so dark and unfruitful for so long. I almost wonder if there is even an end! But through faith in God and that He knows what is best, I can have faith in that end and job that I cannot see. Through faith, I can have confidence knowing that security of a job that I hope and long for will happen. Having that faith is just so difficult sometimes! I struggle with it so much, even though I know that God provides. He has provided and kept me thus far. I will admit that some great things and benefits have happened through this time of not being able to find work. I am grateful and thankful for the opportunities that have been given to me through it.
I know He has a great plan for my life and He holds me in His hand, but that big picture is so hard to see. It is scary not knowing. If you know me, then you know I always like to have a plan. I look at the best and worst outcomes of all situations and try to plan accordingly for whatever may happen. I know that God's plan is not always my own and am ready for a change in plans whenever. However, I like to know or have a semblance of what is going on. I'm one of those people that needs to have a box, but can work inside or outside the box. I just need you to draw me the box first.
How do you get through the dark tunnel that seems to have no light? How do you push past the fleshly fear and lack of faith that creeps in sometimes? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are.
Tuesday, June 19
Waiting and falling
Patience is a virtue that I have always had trouble with when it comes to long wait periods. I was doing really well, but it's moving past the ideal time for teachers to get hired again. I have applied to so many schools, whether online or through mail. I lost count a long time ago. Every open job that I qualify for, whether I live close or not, I apply for. Out of all those applications, I've only had four interviews. Some call back to tell me the bad news and others have not given any news at all. It's hard to not know at all period. This whole process has been quite heartbreaking. It is so discouraging to constantly be rejected knowing that there is nothing else you would rather do. I have no idea what is going wrong. Do I give bad interviews? Is my file bad? Do I have bad references? I am so torn at what the problem is or what I am doing wrong. How is it so difficult to get a job? There isn't a whole lot that I am qualified to do beyond my degree. For other things, I am extremely over qualified. This is definitely a test at my ability to handle really tough situations. It's not fun and brings back a lot from old wounds. Going through this feels so lonely, not to mention being far away from home through this process. There is nothing to fall back on if nothing pans out. There is nothing left but faith. This is so much harder than I could ever have imagined and I feel so alone, even with all the friends and prayers I have. The bottle of emotions spills over in the secret. I am sure hoping that this will all get better and change. I'm unsure how much more I can handle, especially the rejection.
Sunday, April 8
Some good and some bad
Let's start with the good. First of all, today was Easter Sunday! The celebration of Christ being risen from the dead. I went to my old church and heard my old pastor/professor. It was great to hear one of his sermons again after the ones I had been used to hearing when I was going to church. It also was lovely to fellowship with people I have not seen in awhile and get to talking with them. Then I went to my sister's house with her family. We went out and played on their new trampoline. I think I might have even gotten a small tan in the process of jumping around. Then we went inside to dye some eggs. That was so much fun! The kids even said they love dying eggs with me and that I am so fun. Don't you love when kids compliment you? They are so honest and genuine. We had a scrumptious dinner. My princess woke up from her nap after that. Usually she runs out crying for her momma, but today she saw me and ran straight to the couch. She laid there snuggled up with me as she woke up and I watched that zoo movie that came out. Overall, pretty good day.
Now for the bad, aka me ranting/complaining. Sometimes you just have to get it out and here is where I do. Nosy people!!! Ugh! I cannot stand people asking questions to other people about you or to you just because they need something to talk about. They don't genuinely care, they just need a new topic of conversation. Fake people can jump right in there with them too, along with pushy people trying to get me back where I don't want to go. Then kids whining and complaining because things aren't fair and then some being treated unfairly to cater to others. It does make me appreciate how I was raise by my mom. Then my last rant is having to be the cheerleader. By that I mean, I feel like I am having to constantly encourage and bring out of discouragement two others who are in school like me. It seems like it is always on me and that I am always having to be the positive one or constantly listening to negative. I cannot stand it sometimes. I go crazy! I know we are to encourage others but sometimes I need some positive in my life too and not them pulling me down because they cannot be positive. I am prone to becoming depressed, especially when they are constantly negative. I am just tired of constantly being the cheerleader when I need to get my own work done and try to find a job. Sigh. I am ready for my classes to be done and theirs so I don't have to be the motivator every moment it seems.
Now for the bad, aka me ranting/complaining. Sometimes you just have to get it out and here is where I do. Nosy people!!! Ugh! I cannot stand people asking questions to other people about you or to you just because they need something to talk about. They don't genuinely care, they just need a new topic of conversation. Fake people can jump right in there with them too, along with pushy people trying to get me back where I don't want to go. Then kids whining and complaining because things aren't fair and then some being treated unfairly to cater to others. It does make me appreciate how I was raise by my mom. Then my last rant is having to be the cheerleader. By that I mean, I feel like I am having to constantly encourage and bring out of discouragement two others who are in school like me. It seems like it is always on me and that I am always having to be the positive one or constantly listening to negative. I cannot stand it sometimes. I go crazy! I know we are to encourage others but sometimes I need some positive in my life too and not them pulling me down because they cannot be positive. I am prone to becoming depressed, especially when they are constantly negative. I am just tired of constantly being the cheerleader when I need to get my own work done and try to find a job. Sigh. I am ready for my classes to be done and theirs so I don't have to be the motivator every moment it seems.
Saturday, March 31
First Job Interview
Today, I got a phone call for my first interview. It's for Wednesday morning. I am skipping observations for my action research project to go. The tricky part is that it is at least 1 hr and 45 minutes away. The interview will probably be 30 minutes max and then I drive right on back. It's a lot of driving, but it would give me a heads up on what the drive would be like if I got the job. I have signed my lease for my apartment until next March/April. The plus side to that is I have a strong feeling (based on the evidence in the apartment) that the foundation is slowly becoming unstable. I may be able to talk my way out of it if that is the case.
Me being the planning person that I am, all of a sudden I started planning the "what ifs" of this whole situation. Immediately, I started stressing and trying to look for places in the area or contemplating how I would be able to afford driving all that way every day. The other thing is making sure that I will have money until my first paycheck with any school that I work for. I know that God has my back. I also know that God will open wide the right doors for me that I need. If I follow the path that He has planned out for me, then everything that I need will fall into place. My need for control is the horrible side of me that desperately needs changing.
On some other notes, my mom is halfway on a decision to come for my Master's degree graduation. Just the potential of that is exciting. It's always fun for me to have Mom here and it's a break for her as well from life at home. She always loves reading books on my Nook too. :) One of my friend's is finally getting a chance to finish the last class he needs to say he completed his degree. I am helping him with planning, organizing and proofing his work. It's exciting because I get to see him more than I have been. Lastly, the class work load for this semester is turning out to be a whole lot easier than I thought. Some of it feels like busy work, but for the most part I am enjoying it. I think I will enjoy it in 34 days when I can says that I completed it all!
Me being the planning person that I am, all of a sudden I started planning the "what ifs" of this whole situation. Immediately, I started stressing and trying to look for places in the area or contemplating how I would be able to afford driving all that way every day. The other thing is making sure that I will have money until my first paycheck with any school that I work for. I know that God has my back. I also know that God will open wide the right doors for me that I need. If I follow the path that He has planned out for me, then everything that I need will fall into place. My need for control is the horrible side of me that desperately needs changing.
On some other notes, my mom is halfway on a decision to come for my Master's degree graduation. Just the potential of that is exciting. It's always fun for me to have Mom here and it's a break for her as well from life at home. She always loves reading books on my Nook too. :) One of my friend's is finally getting a chance to finish the last class he needs to say he completed his degree. I am helping him with planning, organizing and proofing his work. It's exciting because I get to see him more than I have been. Lastly, the class work load for this semester is turning out to be a whole lot easier than I thought. Some of it feels like busy work, but for the most part I am enjoying it. I think I will enjoy it in 34 days when I can says that I completed it all!
Sunday, March 18
The spring break my body took...
Apparently, my body found it necessary to take a spring break even though I wasn't really "breaking" from much. I have been sick since Thursday and it has not been fun. Granted, I had gotten pretty sick on Monday. I thought about going to the hospital it was so painful, but I just slept through the spurts of no pain instead. I shouldn't be surprised that after all that resting between pain spurts and doing nothing on Monday that by Thursday I was full blown weak, congested, sore throat, temperature flashes, etc. I am grateful my body chose now to take a break and get sick though. I know that when we get sick it's not really because our body's immune system is taking a break, but it sure feels like it. However, it was a week that I did not have much to do. Most of my tutoring was cancelled due to spring break, so I only had to cancel one lesson. I really should have been working on review stations for my first grade teachers I am working with, but beyond that, I had nothing pressing to complete.
That all changes this week, so I am glad that today I feel much better. I am not completely done, so I am still taking some immune boosting stuff and OTC meds. I know I've had some pretty tough and overwhelming courses in this degree, but this one I'm about to embark on appears to have a lot of work in it. Just when I am getting senioritis, this is not a good class to have. :) Since I am feeling better, my goal is to start tackling the parts of the assignments for the week that I can complete for both classes and then hopefully get back to making those stations I promised to do. My Windows gadget post-its are pretty full, so I am hoping to make them seem a bit smaller. ;)
When I was waking up and thinking this morning, I thought how wonderful it would be to have a house of my own. I know that this apartment should be able to feel like home to me. I have done a lot to it since moving in to add my touch to it as much as possible. I just don't feel like this is truly home because I cannot change things in it. When I purchase a home one day, I cannot wait to have it look like my personality. I want to be able to paint, decorate, and change it up to make it fit me (and my future spouses as well I guess, right). It made me wish I had a house like my grandma's. She and Grandpa have a pretty nice house. Two screened in porches with rooms that have a semi-open concept, which works well when a lot of family come over to visit. I would prefer a more open layout than that, but it's still a nice house. They have a decent (but not too large) yard and a perfect amount of rooms. To have a house about the size of theirs (unless my number of future children requires a larger one) in a nice little neighborhood is my dream. I may want a larger cozy screened in porch (either in the front or back), but it just got me thinking. Her house reminds me of what a home is like for me. I am sure whatever house that I end up living in, I will make my own and love it, but that will be my goal to at least achieve. And as much as I would love a beach nearby, if I stay around here, I don't think I could achieve that one... but a girl can dream right?
47 days til I graduate!
That all changes this week, so I am glad that today I feel much better. I am not completely done, so I am still taking some immune boosting stuff and OTC meds. I know I've had some pretty tough and overwhelming courses in this degree, but this one I'm about to embark on appears to have a lot of work in it. Just when I am getting senioritis, this is not a good class to have. :) Since I am feeling better, my goal is to start tackling the parts of the assignments for the week that I can complete for both classes and then hopefully get back to making those stations I promised to do. My Windows gadget post-its are pretty full, so I am hoping to make them seem a bit smaller. ;)
When I was waking up and thinking this morning, I thought how wonderful it would be to have a house of my own. I know that this apartment should be able to feel like home to me. I have done a lot to it since moving in to add my touch to it as much as possible. I just don't feel like this is truly home because I cannot change things in it. When I purchase a home one day, I cannot wait to have it look like my personality. I want to be able to paint, decorate, and change it up to make it fit me (and my future spouses as well I guess, right). It made me wish I had a house like my grandma's. She and Grandpa have a pretty nice house. Two screened in porches with rooms that have a semi-open concept, which works well when a lot of family come over to visit. I would prefer a more open layout than that, but it's still a nice house. They have a decent (but not too large) yard and a perfect amount of rooms. To have a house about the size of theirs (unless my number of future children requires a larger one) in a nice little neighborhood is my dream. I may want a larger cozy screened in porch (either in the front or back), but it just got me thinking. Her house reminds me of what a home is like for me. I am sure whatever house that I end up living in, I will make my own and love it, but that will be my goal to at least achieve. And as much as I would love a beach nearby, if I stay around here, I don't think I could achieve that one... but a girl can dream right?
47 days til I graduate!
Monday, March 5
Date Weekend
This weekend was interesting. It was one that wasn't going to happen, but since his car needed to be fixed, I allowed him to come over. It ended up working out great.
First of all, we did end up going out to eat. The food was good and we had great conversation. It felt like we were a real couple out on a real date. The waiter and staff were great too! Cheddars made for a great place to eat and have a great date. Following that, we didn't have any specific plans, but decided to head to the movies. We went and saw Safe House, although I am sure he could have seen Act of Valor too. Safe House was a great movie, but the sound was so loud! I forgot how loud movie theaters are. The sound was so loud, certain parts of the movie "scared" me and made me jump. It was good though because he was right there next to me holding my hand. Even though he was stressing about his homework at times, we ended up having a great time watching the movie.
The other plus side of the weekend was the talk I got to have with him about his work. I got to say everything that I have been wanting to say and everything I said to my mom and Anne. He heard it and was upset at first but ended up getting work done. It ended up he got more work done than he has in a while after that conversation. It was needed and I hope it took root. We shall see.
I finished my class for this half of the semester with a 100%! I'm so excited to have gotten a perfect grade in this class, keeping my overall 4.0 in this degree. The action research stations are a bit rough on me because I am trying to knock out a lot of stations at one time. I think the teachers like them so far. I am really hoping this project comes together. I am still fearful because the actual action research class hasn't started yet. I just really hope I am doing everything that I am supposed to for this class. The teachers are being great about it all though. They have been wonderful and open to everything I need to do. My goal is to not only complete this project, but also to help these teachers and ease some of the stress they have on them.
After spring break (next week), I begin my last two classes that I need to complete for graduation. I am excited that the end is almost here. Only 60 days left until graduation.
First of all, we did end up going out to eat. The food was good and we had great conversation. It felt like we were a real couple out on a real date. The waiter and staff were great too! Cheddars made for a great place to eat and have a great date. Following that, we didn't have any specific plans, but decided to head to the movies. We went and saw Safe House, although I am sure he could have seen Act of Valor too. Safe House was a great movie, but the sound was so loud! I forgot how loud movie theaters are. The sound was so loud, certain parts of the movie "scared" me and made me jump. It was good though because he was right there next to me holding my hand. Even though he was stressing about his homework at times, we ended up having a great time watching the movie.
The other plus side of the weekend was the talk I got to have with him about his work. I got to say everything that I have been wanting to say and everything I said to my mom and Anne. He heard it and was upset at first but ended up getting work done. It ended up he got more work done than he has in a while after that conversation. It was needed and I hope it took root. We shall see.
I finished my class for this half of the semester with a 100%! I'm so excited to have gotten a perfect grade in this class, keeping my overall 4.0 in this degree. The action research stations are a bit rough on me because I am trying to knock out a lot of stations at one time. I think the teachers like them so far. I am really hoping this project comes together. I am still fearful because the actual action research class hasn't started yet. I just really hope I am doing everything that I am supposed to for this class. The teachers are being great about it all though. They have been wonderful and open to everything I need to do. My goal is to not only complete this project, but also to help these teachers and ease some of the stress they have on them.
After spring break (next week), I begin my last two classes that I need to complete for graduation. I am excited that the end is almost here. Only 60 days left until graduation.
Sunday, February 19
Senioritis
Ok, so there is no senior level in a Master's program. I have that feeling you get when you know that summer (or the end of school) is coming so that you don't want to do anything. The worst part is that my class is really not that hard. I fear that the second half of the semester may not be so easy since it includes my action research project, but the aspect of being done with school is a good motivator. For now though, it is far enough away that it doesn't quite motivate me yet and the work seems so easy that I don't want to do it. Good thing I have people like Anne to keep me smiling and moving along, plus my faithful friend Pandora! :) With all that being said, I did finish the research paper that was due at midnight today. Thankfully, all I had to do was throw together some information and make it sound good because I had already done the research and reading for the topic. The "senioritis" hit me like a ton of bricks, but isn't it amazing that as soon as I am finished... the energy won't stop! Everything that I kept trying to use as an excuse of why I needed a break or a nap or to just stop for a while is gone. It also helps that there is a procrastinator sitting not far away to remind me what not getting my work done looks ad feels like.
On another train of thought, if this is what happens whenever I get near a graduation, do I really want this to happen during a doctorate degree? I know that the prospect of the work being "too easy" in a doctorate degree is insane, so I won't even broach that one.... although I did think that a Master's degree would be unattainable. I will have to mull that one over. Good thing I didn't have to take the GRE to get into my Master's program because if I did, I don't think I would have ever started. That may actually be the only thing that will hold me back from a doctorate too.
In more news, I talked to Mom about possibly coming to my graduation in May and she thinks it has potential! That is exciting news! Last time Mom came to my place we had a good time, so that is something that I can look forward to. Plus it will get me out of the house and give me something to do other than think about the job that I don't have.
Welp, off to go kill some time in a mindless-ish game before I begin to tackle the new assignments this week will hold!
On another train of thought, if this is what happens whenever I get near a graduation, do I really want this to happen during a doctorate degree? I know that the prospect of the work being "too easy" in a doctorate degree is insane, so I won't even broach that one.... although I did think that a Master's degree would be unattainable. I will have to mull that one over. Good thing I didn't have to take the GRE to get into my Master's program because if I did, I don't think I would have ever started. That may actually be the only thing that will hold me back from a doctorate too.
In more news, I talked to Mom about possibly coming to my graduation in May and she thinks it has potential! That is exciting news! Last time Mom came to my place we had a good time, so that is something that I can look forward to. Plus it will get me out of the house and give me something to do other than think about the job that I don't have.
Welp, off to go kill some time in a mindless-ish game before I begin to tackle the new assignments this week will hold!
Saturday, February 11
Grown-up version of pen pals
Today I realized that all those teenage years of wanting a pen pal has been given to me, but it's a way that has a much more positive impact. I am talking about writing letters to my Compassion kids. I have been so blessed to be able to sponsor 5 beautiful ladies and correspond with one beautiful lady... altogether 6 beautiful young ladies. Why am I so excited about it today? I am excited because I just wrote letters to them (which also included a picture) with shiny heart stickers, in honor of Valentine's this month, that I cannot wait for them to receive! I wish I could be there to see their faces as they open up their translated letter and see these shiny stickers! :) I also recently received a letter from one of my older girls where she began becoming inquisitive based upon letters we have been writing back and forth instead of the letters they copy down when they are at the center. I got really excited! Their artwork is also so priceless! :) The greatest part of Compassion International's letter process is that letters can be handwritten or done online. That has made letter writing a lot easier on my wrist and makes a great way for me to send pictures without having to print them out. I love it! I am so glad that God struck the strings in my heart at a Compassion table at a Creation Festival all those years ago to begin this wonderful process of sponsoring children while spreading the message of Christ!
Last night was my Skype date with Anne, which is always exciting! What made that more exciting was that I received a letter from her from KOREA! :) I must say that living through my cousin's adventures in Korea is enough for me. I am so glad that she and I decided to make a monthly standing date to talk over Skype. There is never a set topic. We just talk as if we were hanging out and sitting next to each other on the couch having a girls night. I have decided that as time allows us that she and I also should write each other. I just think it is so awesome to be able to receive mail from around the world.
The last topic of interest is my upcoming graduation. According to my little countdown gadget from Windows 7, I have 83 days left until graduation day where I will officially have a Master's in Education. :) I still plan on getting my doctorate, but I think that will wait awhile since taking the GRE seems so daunting. Sigh. However, I hope that this degree opens some doors that I need God to open, or even a window. I am enjoying the opportunities not having a job and getting a Master's degree has posed for me though. I am observing a class in the school I used to work in, so I get to see all my beautiful "babies" that I had my first year there. Some of my "babies" from last year have spotted me! It's been so lovely to see all their familiar faces, along with those of my colleagues, who also happen to be my friends! I know that I look forward to my Thursdays, even if it means I get little sleep due to unneeded nerves. I hope that I can make their busy weeks brighter as I pop in on Thursdays as well. Hopefully, I will be able to continue my time there with my action research project. I plan to meet with the principal Thursday to see how that goes. Fingers crossed!
Now I'm off to get some chow and find some good work for my new tutoring student! Yes, I have acquired another student to tutor!
Last night was my Skype date with Anne, which is always exciting! What made that more exciting was that I received a letter from her from KOREA! :) I must say that living through my cousin's adventures in Korea is enough for me. I am so glad that she and I decided to make a monthly standing date to talk over Skype. There is never a set topic. We just talk as if we were hanging out and sitting next to each other on the couch having a girls night. I have decided that as time allows us that she and I also should write each other. I just think it is so awesome to be able to receive mail from around the world.
The last topic of interest is my upcoming graduation. According to my little countdown gadget from Windows 7, I have 83 days left until graduation day where I will officially have a Master's in Education. :) I still plan on getting my doctorate, but I think that will wait awhile since taking the GRE seems so daunting. Sigh. However, I hope that this degree opens some doors that I need God to open, or even a window. I am enjoying the opportunities not having a job and getting a Master's degree has posed for me though. I am observing a class in the school I used to work in, so I get to see all my beautiful "babies" that I had my first year there. Some of my "babies" from last year have spotted me! It's been so lovely to see all their familiar faces, along with those of my colleagues, who also happen to be my friends! I know that I look forward to my Thursdays, even if it means I get little sleep due to unneeded nerves. I hope that I can make their busy weeks brighter as I pop in on Thursdays as well. Hopefully, I will be able to continue my time there with my action research project. I plan to meet with the principal Thursday to see how that goes. Fingers crossed!
Now I'm off to get some chow and find some good work for my new tutoring student! Yes, I have acquired another student to tutor!
Monday, January 9
Last semester... for now.
Since today is Monday, that means today begins my last semester as a Master's student in Curriculum and Instruction. I mention the particular degree because I am unsure whether or not this will be my last degree in the Master field. I also cannot say that it is my last graduate degree either because I might head towards that much elusive Doctorate. I want to feel accomplished and like all my hard work and God-given brains has done something productive. Being unemployed has quickly dampened that feeling. I feel so often that my gift of teaching and the intellect that has been given to me has been wasted. I know that I contribute to the education of those few that I am tutoring and of course, to my fellow classmates, but that doesn't feel like enough. I love to teach! I do not care in what capacity, but I want to teach and make a difference to many. I have been given that ability and not being able to use it is so stifling!! Imagine doing something that you love and knowing that you are giving your all and people agree that you do it well, and then having it taken from you. After that, you are constantly told that your abilities and background are not what they are looking for. It's like being told that you are constantly not good enough.
I hate that feeling.
Yes, I know that I should not judge my worth and such by others and their standards. I get that. It does not change how I feel. I do not know how to do much else but teach. To pay all my bills, especially the upcoming educational ones, I cannot afford to start over again or not get a job in the field of education. Although teachers are greatly underpaid for what they do every day, I would be satisfied and content to have a teacher's salary with benefits. I would love to be able to afford the health insurance that I had so I can keep my doctors.
I cut myself off from people. I do it so I do not have to rely on them to help with monetary things. It is so much easier to deny offers to go out and hang out if you are no longer offered those experiences because you have distanced yourself. I won't have to worry about the gas required to get there or someone coming to pick me up and having to rely on them. I won't have to worry about what my part of the bill will be or praying that they might offer to cover them tab, even after my obligatory refusal to be polite.
I hate that feeling.
I hope that this degree finishing might be able to open some doors for me. I am pretty unsure of where to go from here. I am leaving it in God's hands, but all this uncertainty and waiting is scaring me. I keep searching and applying for jobs, now without caring where in the state they are. I know that He has a greater purpose, He always does... but gosh! Does it have to be so scary and almost defeating? I know, in our weakest hours, that is when He is the strongest and able to show that it was nothing else but the power of God. There are lots of things that I know. I can spout off things left and right. I tend to have the right words to say at the right time. Another beautiful quality that I thank God for giving to me. However, I have realized that knowing and truly, deep-heartedly believing are two extremely different things. I am pretty scared and unsure.
I hate that feeling.
Until the feeling goes and God brings about the change and deliverance I need, I will have to keep pressing through and muddling through what is now known as my life. Striving for and seeking to do the best that I am able to give and let God take it and do with it what He will. He has helped me to accomplish so much, so I know that He can do so much more. I just wish that it would happen sooner, but everything all in His time... right?
So now I wait...
I hate that feeling.
Yes, I know that I should not judge my worth and such by others and their standards. I get that. It does not change how I feel. I do not know how to do much else but teach. To pay all my bills, especially the upcoming educational ones, I cannot afford to start over again or not get a job in the field of education. Although teachers are greatly underpaid for what they do every day, I would be satisfied and content to have a teacher's salary with benefits. I would love to be able to afford the health insurance that I had so I can keep my doctors.
I cut myself off from people. I do it so I do not have to rely on them to help with monetary things. It is so much easier to deny offers to go out and hang out if you are no longer offered those experiences because you have distanced yourself. I won't have to worry about the gas required to get there or someone coming to pick me up and having to rely on them. I won't have to worry about what my part of the bill will be or praying that they might offer to cover them tab, even after my obligatory refusal to be polite.
I hate that feeling.
I hope that this degree finishing might be able to open some doors for me. I am pretty unsure of where to go from here. I am leaving it in God's hands, but all this uncertainty and waiting is scaring me. I keep searching and applying for jobs, now without caring where in the state they are. I know that He has a greater purpose, He always does... but gosh! Does it have to be so scary and almost defeating? I know, in our weakest hours, that is when He is the strongest and able to show that it was nothing else but the power of God. There are lots of things that I know. I can spout off things left and right. I tend to have the right words to say at the right time. Another beautiful quality that I thank God for giving to me. However, I have realized that knowing and truly, deep-heartedly believing are two extremely different things. I am pretty scared and unsure.
I hate that feeling.
Until the feeling goes and God brings about the change and deliverance I need, I will have to keep pressing through and muddling through what is now known as my life. Striving for and seeking to do the best that I am able to give and let God take it and do with it what He will. He has helped me to accomplish so much, so I know that He can do so much more. I just wish that it would happen sooner, but everything all in His time... right?
So now I wait...
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