Searching

I am quite confused, while frustrated. I cannot believe how things went. I am mad. I am bewildered. I just need to walk out to the beach and scream or sit with music or a good friend... none of which I can do right now. I am far to exhausted with life and events to do much except exist.

On a positive note, I may end up finding exactly who and what God wants for my life. New times, new adventures, and new people? I also meet the "ladies-in-law-to-be" today with the bros. That was a lovely time of laughs and awkwardness. :) It made me wish we all lived in the same area. The weirdness was when people got "lovey-dovey" and there was no "couple" for me to be a part of. I usually floated between couples... until mini golf. We all got together really well as a whole group. The couples thing made it difficult and awkward at times, but it is something that I need to get used to with distances as they are and situations as they are. All part of my life choices and directions.

Real and true?

I am not sure if this is real or if it is true. I keep telling myself that it is what I want and that it's my dream. There are many times though when I am not sure. I often sit and wonder if there is more out there. I think about there being something better out there. Maybe there is something that fits all the criteria. Maybe I am settling for what I only think I am capable of deserving.