Since losing my job, I always have good thoughts and intentions, but actions never follow through. I have gotten so discouraged. I need extra motivation and extra push, but where do I find that? Relying on others is so tough. I need a friend to just come in and help me accomplish what needs to be done and keep me motivated.
I think that I put on the image of handling things well. I am not. I am so torn, distraught, and broken with all of this. Lying to myself about being ok and lying to others is so much easier. Unless you have been in the same situation, it is hard to understand. I feel pretty betrayed and unwanted. I feel inadequate. I am still trying to hold out and hold on to the hope that will come through, but it is getting extremely difficult. It's hard to do when you feel so alone. The uncertainty of everything is weighing heavily on me. The longer this takes, the heavier the weight of it all is.
I am trying to stay positive and take things one day at a time. I am keeping up with my studies and my 4.0 goal. I need to spend more time with friends, but I feel like I am such a downer that I can't do that. I don't want to burden them and everyone else has a job and life to live. I am truly just ready for God to open up this next chapter. I am ready for this chapter to end and turn to the next page to see what happens.
I think that I put on the image of handling things well. I am not. I am so torn, distraught, and broken with all of this. Lying to myself about being ok and lying to others is so much easier. Unless you have been in the same situation, it is hard to understand. I feel pretty betrayed and unwanted. I feel inadequate. I am still trying to hold out and hold on to the hope that will come through, but it is getting extremely difficult. It's hard to do when you feel so alone. The uncertainty of everything is weighing heavily on me. The longer this takes, the heavier the weight of it all is.
I am trying to stay positive and take things one day at a time. I am keeping up with my studies and my 4.0 goal. I need to spend more time with friends, but I feel like I am such a downer that I can't do that. I don't want to burden them and everyone else has a job and life to live. I am truly just ready for God to open up this next chapter. I am ready for this chapter to end and turn to the next page to see what happens.
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Girl, I've found that my dad is surprisingly good to talk to about stuff, and he's been through this. I know he'd be willing to listen if you need someone who understands.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would be able to talk to him about it, lol. Thanks though.
ReplyDelete