Wednesday, May 11

Lately...

So, it's been dramatic lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe there is something in the air. I am not quite sure. What I do know is that I am getting sick and tired of it. Job drama, family drama, friend drama, man drama... gosh. I don't know what other kind of drama there possibly could be left. I really do not intend to find out either. I am just ready for it to all be over.

Lately, sleep has not been evading me, just unwinding. I do not know how I cram so much into a day. It is quite ridiculous. All the stuff that I am doing for other people when I am not returning. I should have given up when I found out, but that's not my M.O. It just gets so frustrating to feel like you are doing so much when you are being booted for "not doing enough" and you feel like no one sees you, especially now that you are booted. Why do I care so much? Because I am committed and I was raised better than that. I just wish sometimes that others would realize I have a life too. I know that I am single and have no family here, but that almost makes it worse. When they are stressed or worn out, they have an escape. Where is mine? I feel like I have none.

I need to start going back to church. I really wish I had never stopped going. I just feel so overwhelmed and taken over. It's awful.

I just wish I knew what was going on lately. I wish I knew what life had in store. Friends... what are those? People in your life to call family? I don't know where those people lie... it's just so weird. I feel so lost and alone. I have maybe 1 to 3 people who I can truly say I trust with my life. It's probably not even the people you would think. A year ago it would have been so different, but now... life could go any way. I could go anyway.

Lately.... what the heck?

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